These quotes are courtesy of signage along the course of the Seattle Rock & Roll Marathon/Half Marathon:
Worst parade ever
Go random stranger go!
Slow is the new fast
Its like beer, only clear (found at a water station)
Its not sweat, its your fat cells crying (my personal favorite)
Does this shirt make my butt look fast?
Toenails are overrated
Your feet are hurting because you are kicking a**
Pass the weak, hurdle the dead
If I drop down unconscious, please just pause my Garmin