Frustrated.

I am so frustrated right now. I don't know if I want to scream my head off or punch a wall or do both at the same time. On Saturday I couldn't finish my workout because I got a nasty blister on the bottom of my foot that decided to ripe open and bleed profusely. At about 2.5 miles I couldn't bear the pain anymore and called it a day. I lifted and rode my spin bike on Sunday, hoping that the blister would be better for my run on Monday.

Thankfully the blood came out- YUCK!

Today my foot felt fine (it did bleed, but not much), however, I started to experience some previous symptoms with my compartment syndrome. After 3.5 miles I decided that the best decision was to stop the workout. Over the last 2 weeks I have thought I was experiencing small foot drop, but I wasn't sure if it was in my head or not. Tonight I had bad cramping in my foot and what appeared to be a foot drop. It looks like I have done nothing but waste the last 4 months of trying to learn how to run all over again when I probably should have just scheduled the damn surgery in the first place. I am hoping that I can get in and see Dr. Anderson this week and see what the next plan of action is. Until then there will be zero running.

I am feeling super defeated and really frustrated right now. I feel like I made some progress over the last couple of months, but I still had a lot of work left to do. Forefoot running still doesn't feel natural to me and now I don't even think it is worth it at this point.  All of my running goals seem to be slipping further and further away from me. That sub 3 hour marathon? Yeah, that won't be happening anytime soon. Not sure what type of running lies in my future, but I don't think there will be much of it anytime soon.

--Tasha